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Jokes and Riddles repository

Posted: 15th February 2016 00:04am
archetype23
archetype23
Tyrant of Words
United States 7awards
Joined 5th Oct 2013
Forum Posts: 3672
Why did the egg cross the road?

To get laid at the hen house

Posted: 16th February 2016 00:52am
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112

,,,,before he became famous
I was having lunch
at Jeffery Dahmer's house...
...when I mentioned there was hair in my food
he said
"yeah it's in all the food."

Posted: 18th February 2016 3:57am
Edited: 11th March 2016 6:59pm - edited 3 times
rabbitquest
rabbitquest
Dangerous Mind
Ukraine 2awards
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 2051
The preacher at my
girlfriends church says

"Lettuce spray"
Everybody stands up.
I don't see any lettuce.

We line up for a small
snack and go home.

Posted: 19th February 2016 11:00pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
I was playing poker with tarot cards on a ouija board...I got four of a kind and started the apocalypse.

Posted: 19th February 2016 11:21pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
I hate turning clocks back and forth
so every six months I move to a different time zone

Posted: 19th February 2016 11:21pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112

When I was a kid we got a Grandfather clock
every time I came home late
he said,"do you know what time it is?"

Posted: 19th February 2016 11:22pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112

A friend of mine got a Godfather clock
nobody argued about what time it was

Posted: 19th February 2016 11:24pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
If at first you don't succeedyou probably shouldn't bungee jump

Posted: 19th February 2016 11:24pm
Edited: 19th February 2016 11:25pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
Which came first the chicken or the egg ? go ask the platypus that f#@%er knows something

Posted: 19th February 2016 11:38pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
My wife is so cold I have to wear thermal condoms.

Posted: 19th February 2016 11:39pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
My wife is so cold I get brain freeze.

Posted: 20th February 2016 8:32am
Edited: 11th March 2016 7:08pm - edited 2 times
rabbitquest
rabbitquest
Dangerous Mind
Ukraine 2awards
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 2051
why did the elephant cross the road
I dunno but don't cross an elephant, mind you,dear.

Posted: 22nd February 2016 10:40pm
Edited: 11th March 2016 7:08pm - edited 2 times
rabbitquest
rabbitquest
Dangerous Mind
Ukraine 2awards
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 2051
I heard the news that a pedalphile
got sent to prison.

I quit riding my bike.

Posted: 23rd February 2016 1:24am
Edited: 11th March 2016 6:54pm
rabbitquest
rabbitquest
Dangerous Mind
Ukraine 2awards
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 2051
My condom in my wallet
had worn a hole thru it

So she got out a box.
of  G-Loves

Posted: 23rd February 2016 6:07am
rabbitquest
rabbitquest
Dangerous Mind
Ukraine 2awards
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 2051
the beauty pageant winner pledged to increase world piece.

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