Poetry competition CLOSED 24th April 2014 5:11pm
WINNER
Anonymous
Anonymous
RUNNER-UP:
summultima
DUP FINGER JAM - Spoken Word Poetry
unencumbered_twine
Joined 18th Apr 2014
Forum Posts: 15
Lost Thinker
Forum Posts: 15
Noob here. You said the use of graphic images was acceptable, so I'm pretty sure my video is within the parameters. If not let me know so I can edit it accordingly. And to exploit this perfect segway... could someone help guide me to making the background plain in my video if it's not within the acceptable format?
DU link: http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/159084-beyond-depressions-sentiment-and/
YouTube link: http://youtu.be/Qu5s4uxK6GE
Pitch: To turn the tables on reason and depression, unlocking inner emotions through the counterintuitive nature that fulfillment sometimes masks itself in, and exploiting these paradoxes to free the residual love that has or can become trapped in the midst's wake.
Beyond Depression's Sentiment and Reason's Detriment
In the wake I lie awake
contemplating the antithesis of a nemesis
complacency is codependent and drunken in corrupted bliss
In a stupor entangled and tied to repressed rage
rattling the bottom of never truly known cages
Rising in love instead of falling through the ages
Such a sweet calamity in the form of a wellness treat
tickling Buddha's belly
A flavor so colorful even my tastebuds
have become little Picassos, Da Vincis and Van Goghs
Waldo finds himself and paints a self portrait
Michelangelo doesn't miss a stroke
Method to this madness
A cunning only grasped by leaping over and past
the coals of lingering sadnesses
Broadening boundaries
To explore once again in controlled abandon
My tiptoes touch to serve as a palate of permanent reminders
at once fleeting and vanishing
but I still have the scars as vouchers
I'd rather be a hapless traveler
Than a happy camper
Breaking into the event Horizon
And stealing the light show
There's bliss to be found on the edge of a razor
Such considerate incisions through my hardened vessels
Bleeding new life through these old hedges
DU link: http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/159084-beyond-depressions-sentiment-and/
YouTube link: http://youtu.be/Qu5s4uxK6GE
Pitch: To turn the tables on reason and depression, unlocking inner emotions through the counterintuitive nature that fulfillment sometimes masks itself in, and exploiting these paradoxes to free the residual love that has or can become trapped in the midst's wake.
Beyond Depression's Sentiment and Reason's Detriment
In the wake I lie awake
contemplating the antithesis of a nemesis
complacency is codependent and drunken in corrupted bliss
In a stupor entangled and tied to repressed rage
rattling the bottom of never truly known cages
Rising in love instead of falling through the ages
Such a sweet calamity in the form of a wellness treat
tickling Buddha's belly
A flavor so colorful even my tastebuds
have become little Picassos, Da Vincis and Van Goghs
Waldo finds himself and paints a self portrait
Michelangelo doesn't miss a stroke
Method to this madness
A cunning only grasped by leaping over and past
the coals of lingering sadnesses
Broadening boundaries
To explore once again in controlled abandon
My tiptoes touch to serve as a palate of permanent reminders
at once fleeting and vanishing
but I still have the scars as vouchers
I'd rather be a hapless traveler
Than a happy camper
Breaking into the event Horizon
And stealing the light show
There's bliss to be found on the edge of a razor
Such considerate incisions through my hardened vessels
Bleeding new life through these old hedges
unencumbered_twine
Joined 18th Apr 2014
Forum Posts: 15
Lost Thinker
Forum Posts: 15
Scratch my concerns on my video being acceptable. It uploaded correctly.
Pathospassion
c.d.latin
Forum Posts: 172
c.d.latin
Thought Provoker
8
Joined 1st Feb 2014Forum Posts: 172
Miss_Sub said:Link to the poem containing the spoken word: http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/154219-purgatory/
Direct YouTube video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjhIEYv6tXg&feature=youtu.be
The pitch: I try to write in a way that makes the reader feel uncomfortable. A good poem should stick in your throat. I want my spoken word to do the same thing and strive to drag people through hell with me, to face brimstone without the bullshit.
Purgatory
When I still drank good liquor
two things would enter my head.
The first was usually pitiful,
a 'please love me'
in the small hours of Friday
followed by six hours
of remorse and Led Zeppelin.
The second was less melancholic;
I'd wonder if I was dead,
if my skin was just
yellowing sheet music
ready to be played
in a decaying bandstand
with a New Orleans trumpeter
blowing out my life
in joyful sounds,
always more celebratory
than me.
Then I'd look for evidence:
my nose, wisdom teeth
the grey hair I offensively found
nestling amongst the blonde
that didn't make the cut
the scars I owned,
the tapestry on my left arm
painted pastel pigments
until the artists came
and interpreted it all.
How I feared that I was dead.
That the last tissue
would be the death of me,
that I'd die in a pool of puke
with carpet burns on knees
and they'd sit and wonder why
for I believe Hell is
what you carry with you
not somewhere you go
when you die.
Most beautiful thing i have ever heard
Direct YouTube video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjhIEYv6tXg&feature=youtu.be
The pitch: I try to write in a way that makes the reader feel uncomfortable. A good poem should stick in your throat. I want my spoken word to do the same thing and strive to drag people through hell with me, to face brimstone without the bullshit.
Purgatory
When I still drank good liquor
two things would enter my head.
The first was usually pitiful,
a 'please love me'
in the small hours of Friday
followed by six hours
of remorse and Led Zeppelin.
The second was less melancholic;
I'd wonder if I was dead,
if my skin was just
yellowing sheet music
ready to be played
in a decaying bandstand
with a New Orleans trumpeter
blowing out my life
in joyful sounds,
always more celebratory
than me.
Then I'd look for evidence:
my nose, wisdom teeth
the grey hair I offensively found
nestling amongst the blonde
that didn't make the cut
the scars I owned,
the tapestry on my left arm
painted pastel pigments
until the artists came
and interpreted it all.
How I feared that I was dead.
That the last tissue
would be the death of me,
that I'd die in a pool of puke
with carpet burns on knees
and they'd sit and wonder why
for I believe Hell is
what you carry with you
not somewhere you go
when you die.
Most beautiful thing i have ever heard
LobodeSanPedro
Forum Posts: 3304
Tyrant of Words
109
Joined 16th Apr 2013Forum Posts: 3304
The Reading: http://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=O95p9EjzAKs
The Link: http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/105535-mi-reina-eileen/
The Poem: Mi Reina (Eileen)
I was taught to play this game by my father
I've seen many men play it
My brothers learned it as children
And still play it that way
Taking one piece
After another
And another
Then another
A piece is a piece
Love the power of your Queen
But subdue her
Control her
She has no will within your fingertips
These were the whispered words of my father
A queen does not merely move
She holds court
She reigns
Her presence is her power
Let her dominate over all others
Then she'll shield and support you
And the rewards will be untold
Infinite
These were the lessons of my mother
Set traps of unspoken promises
A Fool's Mate
Risk nothing
Take everything
Sacrifice her if you must
In the end she's just another piece
I nodded in muted silence as he braced my shoulders
Guide her strength not with your impulsive touch
to conquer
Her body is already hollowed and hardened by games played
Her position within your heart must be greater than your own
She taught me this with her eyes
After my father laid waste to her
Move the pawns as you will
That one there
move it to the very edge
Trade her for a new Queen
Another piece
Lesson learned
Now I move with perfect imperfection through
The shadow and the light
For the war collides not on this board nor in murmurs
but within myself
And I've finally come to know this
I don't need a piece I can play with
I need the Queen I can't move without
The one I will gladly sacrifice
the lessons of my father for
The Pitch: This poem grew out of the adoration for my poetic sister, RainC and her poem "Half of Me". As the poem took shape I found myself writing about my incredible Lena, and her strength. The video I envision is an illumination on how many men develop their attitudes towards women.
7th_son
Forum Posts: 292
Thought Provoker
1
Joined 19th Feb 2014 Forum Posts: 292
dup link http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/159152-meine-land-abandon---part-2/
you tube link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_0jOQM2j2Q
the pitch meine land abandon is a glimpse into a past of a stripped childhood of a child longing for the simple freedom to speak his native tongue..
[b]the poem[b]
[b]meine land abandon[b]
earthquakes sounding.. as lands were tore..
haunting cries and bloody skies.. did implore..
crows.. forever squawking.. keeping score..
counted fallen.. stung about a bloody floor..
a thirst yet quenched.. the echoes of war..
forever heard.. there lingering.. now lore..
as i stood watch.. yet long before..
a child.. that.. that i was.. no more..
the world blinked but once.. it knows..
for in that moment.. a great wall arose..
eleven by eleven.. each block did pose..
side by side.. and top on top.. its rows..
there to impose.. perpetually enclose..
it was built by man.. the iron hand..
meant to stand.. divide meine land..
forever manned.. it did command..
broke the band.. let loose the sand..
and sands stand sifting.. the truest of erosion..
the boy on the other side of the wall.. an illusion..
my family.. my freedom.. a twisting delusion..
the curtain drawn ever tight.. not a conclusion..
as i stood watch.. yet long before..
a child.. that.. that i was.. no more..
hung from high.. obscuring sight..
weighted down by bloody spite..
wavering not.. absent of fright..
for it was drawn forever tight..
mothers rapture.. mothers mite..
her sickle.. her hammer.. my plight..
ablaze with freedoms fiery light..
quashed by realities so benight..
longing.. no longer outright..
ants marching.. a mindless trite..
stasi patrolling again this night..
as i stood watch.. yet long before..
a child.. that.. that i was.. no more..
case28
Alexander Case
Forum Posts: 2077
Alexander Case
Dangerous Mind
42
Joined 16th June 2013Forum Posts: 2077
LESS THAN 5 HOURS TO GO POETS!!!!!
Thank you for all the entries so far. The high standard of the poetry and the spoken word has completely blown me way, this is going to be an extremely tough decision for the judges. Thank you for all the entries so far, you're all legends!!!
Tacete
who-isthe-silence
Forum Posts: 205
who-isthe-silence
Twisted Dreamer
1
Joined 24th Nov 2013Forum Posts: 205
Hall of Glass
Never mind peering through the windows
nor caress their wooden frames,
neither inhale their vaporous lacquer.
Nary a murmur of gust passes
through the slightest imperfections.
It's their glass that shatters
as solemnly as the silence
that settles amongst us
upon the lowering of caskets
and the last breath of dying men.
What is more powerful
than a soul that dies defiantly
whilst clasping your hands
mildly stained in their blood and yours?
http://youtu.be/pI-gmom4FQU
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/158798-hall-of-glass/
As promised, my (fashionably late) submission, a submission nevertheless.
Never mind peering through the windows
nor caress their wooden frames,
neither inhale their vaporous lacquer.
Nary a murmur of gust passes
through the slightest imperfections.
It's their glass that shatters
as solemnly as the silence
that settles amongst us
upon the lowering of caskets
and the last breath of dying men.
What is more powerful
than a soul that dies defiantly
whilst clasping your hands
mildly stained in their blood and yours?
http://youtu.be/pI-gmom4FQU
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/158798-hall-of-glass/
As promised, my (fashionably late) submission, a submission nevertheless.
case28
Alexander Case
Forum Posts: 2077
Alexander Case
Dangerous Mind
42
Joined 16th June 2013Forum Posts: 2077
Just an update on the judging after being diligently jabbed in the ribs. I'd like to thank all but one of you for your patience. There is a lot to consider in judging this comp [trust me, my judging criteria was over a page long] and as you can appreciate the judges are being very thorough in their determination and some are less fortunate, where internet speeds are slower than the spread of malaria... no, malaria hasn't spread this far down under. Thanks again for your patience, but you all know I'm fiendish when it comes to suspense.
case28
Alexander Case
Forum Posts: 2077
Alexander Case
Dangerous Mind
42
Joined 16th June 2013Forum Posts: 2077
Sorry for the delay DU punters, I've had a hell of a time locking in celebrity poets, I thought they were in and then they were out, I've had another judge having problems with his wi-fi signal dropping out in the Amazon, I thought he had malaria and then he had to pull out. Then I had another judge who I couldn't interrupt, because he was in deep concentration contemplating the tight competition... so I did not dare break this man's silence.
BUT we have the results now and that is what you all want to hear.
Stay tuned, it should only take me a couple of hours to post the winners... 24 hours max! [I'm joking... unless something unexpected happens.]
BUT we have the results now and that is what you all want to hear.
Stay tuned, it should only take me a couple of hours to post the winners... 24 hours max! [I'm joking... unless something unexpected happens.]
case28
Alexander Case
Forum Posts: 2077
Alexander Case
Dangerous Mind
42
Joined 16th June 2013Forum Posts: 2077
Firstly, I want to say that the Finger Jam Spoken Word Poetry comp is not a dig at Slam Poetry [ahem!], this spoken word comp is about getting back to what poetry is really about. It's about expressing yourself and giving your poem a voice.
I think when people hear the words spoken word, they immediately think of Slam Poetry. Slam is what the kids get taught at school. We've had young poets on DU forums asking how to write a spoken word poem. It's simple, there should be no set format, tell a story, express yourself.
When I was putting together the judging criteria for DUP Finger Jam I read numerous scoring rubrics for school and college Slam Poetry comps, where the judging criteria included criteria such as, physical presence, vocal articulation, dramatisation [hand movements] and overall performance. The only criteria that judged the poem itself was "Level of Difficulty."
For me, spoken word is all about the poem and how well the poet communicates their message. That's why, when I was putting the judging criteria together, I put a big emphasis [10 fat points] on the scoring criteria for "The Poem", because without a solid piece of writing you're just an actor reciting lines.
With that all said, I'm proud to announce the winners of the first DUP Finger Jam Spoken Word Poetry comp for 2014!
The Finger Jam winners are:
1st Place: Missy. (Miss_Sub) – Purgatory [17.3% of the vote]
2nd Place: Nikki C (Vee) – Aurora [15.9% of the vote]
3rd Place [tied]: Magdalena - Smoldering Embers~ [12.0% of the vote]
3rd Place [tied]: Atakti – Impending [12.0% of the vote]
[Missy, I'll be in contact with you shortly to discuss your video poem prize.]
The Magic Finger Prize:
Judges choice for best spoken word newcomer: uma (summultima) - In the drawing...the LIGHTS#1
[uma, I'll be in contact with you shortly to discuss your audio poem prize.]
Thank you to all the DUP poets Missy, Magdalena, Vee, MadameLavender, uma, Travis, Atakti, DystopianMelody, Mr Tony Pena, unencumbered_twine, brotha LobodeSanPedro, 7th_son and Tacete [fashionably late entry] for taking part in the Finger Jam comp with your awesome spoken word poems. I appreciate you all taking the time and effort you put into your entries and for making this such a great comp.
A very special thank you to the artistically gifted and very respectable judges [who all had to read through my painfully detailed judging criteria] Miss Indie, souladareatease, Steve Bragg and Tacete. Your time, patience and efforts are greatly appreciated.
I think when people hear the words spoken word, they immediately think of Slam Poetry. Slam is what the kids get taught at school. We've had young poets on DU forums asking how to write a spoken word poem. It's simple, there should be no set format, tell a story, express yourself.
When I was putting together the judging criteria for DUP Finger Jam I read numerous scoring rubrics for school and college Slam Poetry comps, where the judging criteria included criteria such as, physical presence, vocal articulation, dramatisation [hand movements] and overall performance. The only criteria that judged the poem itself was "Level of Difficulty."
For me, spoken word is all about the poem and how well the poet communicates their message. That's why, when I was putting the judging criteria together, I put a big emphasis [10 fat points] on the scoring criteria for "The Poem", because without a solid piece of writing you're just an actor reciting lines.
With that all said, I'm proud to announce the winners of the first DUP Finger Jam Spoken Word Poetry comp for 2014!
The Finger Jam winners are:
1st Place: Missy. (Miss_Sub) – Purgatory [17.3% of the vote]
2nd Place: Nikki C (Vee) – Aurora [15.9% of the vote]
3rd Place [tied]: Magdalena - Smoldering Embers~ [12.0% of the vote]
3rd Place [tied]: Atakti – Impending [12.0% of the vote]
[Missy, I'll be in contact with you shortly to discuss your video poem prize.]
The Magic Finger Prize:
Judges choice for best spoken word newcomer: uma (summultima) - In the drawing...the LIGHTS#1
[uma, I'll be in contact with you shortly to discuss your audio poem prize.]
Thank you to all the DUP poets Missy, Magdalena, Vee, MadameLavender, uma, Travis, Atakti, DystopianMelody, Mr Tony Pena, unencumbered_twine, brotha LobodeSanPedro, 7th_son and Tacete [fashionably late entry] for taking part in the Finger Jam comp with your awesome spoken word poems. I appreciate you all taking the time and effort you put into your entries and for making this such a great comp.
A very special thank you to the artistically gifted and very respectable judges [who all had to read through my painfully detailed judging criteria] Miss Indie, souladareatease, Steve Bragg and Tacete. Your time, patience and efforts are greatly appreciated.
Anonymous
Congratulations to Missy, your reading was phenomenal and the award is well deserving. I look forward seeing your updated video.
Uma, congratulations. Very happy you received the Magic finger prize and I can't wait to see your spoken word created by our host; the always entertaining Mr. Case.
Thank you to the panel of wonderful judges for their time and placing me second runner up.
Mr. Case for setting up this comp and encouraging all of us to get out of our comfort zone.
Magdalena, Atakti and everyone who participated I really enjoyed your poems and spoken word vids. Well done and congratulations to all.
Uma, congratulations. Very happy you received the Magic finger prize and I can't wait to see your spoken word created by our host; the always entertaining Mr. Case.
Thank you to the panel of wonderful judges for their time and placing me second runner up.
Mr. Case for setting up this comp and encouraging all of us to get out of our comfort zone.
Magdalena, Atakti and everyone who participated I really enjoyed your poems and spoken word vids. Well done and congratulations to all.
MadameLavender
Forum Posts: 5594
Guardian of Shadows
86
Joined 17th Feb 2013Forum Posts: 5594
Congrats to everyone! Great comp--Case; you wanna do up my students' clinical chemistry grades for me, since 'ya all got that college rubric system going ?? (they're due in next Thursday...).
Lol--looking forward to your next comp!
Lol--looking forward to your next comp!
Tacete
who-isthe-silence
Forum Posts: 205
who-isthe-silence
Twisted Dreamer
1
Joined 24th Nov 2013Forum Posts: 205
Yes, congratulations to all. This competition was extremely difficult to judge fairly. Well done to Missy and Vee, and to Alex for the most original competition I've seen here, if only other competitions were to this standard.
LobodeSanPedro
Forum Posts: 3304
Tyrant of Words
109
Joined 16th Apr 2013Forum Posts: 3304
CONGRATULATIONS! - Missy! ... And those named runners up! GREAT COMPETITION!
I was checking for the results on this virtually everyday ... several times a day - lol - if only because of the caliber of work submitted. I really enjoyed DystopianMelody's piece ... Great poem!
Many thanks to the host - Mr. Case, my brotha, and the fine work of the judges.
I was checking for the results on this virtually everyday ... several times a day - lol - if only because of the caliber of work submitted. I really enjoyed DystopianMelody's piece ... Great poem!
Many thanks to the host - Mr. Case, my brotha, and the fine work of the judges.
Atakti
Forum Posts: 3273
Tyrant of Words
32
Joined 1st Aug 2012 Forum Posts: 3273
Congrats Missy and Uma! Missy, that reading really kicked butt, bravo.
Tough comp. Thanks to Case and judges for the hard work. Well done, Vee and Mags for placing, and everyone else for baring your voices!
Is anyone else craving raspberry jam?.. Jam, mmmmm..
Tough comp. Thanks to Case and judges for the hard work. Well done, Vee and Mags for placing, and everyone else for baring your voices!
Is anyone else craving raspberry jam?.. Jam, mmmmm..