The never-written letter ...

Dear *&^^@$
I bet you thought you were so cool, hooking up with the hot sixteen year old girl you met at the theme park. I had no idea what I was walking into when I walked around that corner and saw you. If I hadn't been so angry I'm sure I never would have allowed myself to end up alone in that room with you. My breath still catches when I think of you, but for different reasons than before.

For the record, I never said yes. You didn't hear my no since it didn't get any further than a scream in my head. Funny how fear can make you so silent.(For the record as well, Mr Congressman, it should be illegal to let hotel phones work on a prepay condition.) Not even 9 would let me dial out for help in my escape. Instead I had to wait for you to be done with me.

I remember you having a beautiful voice. I remember you talking about morals and how humanity is failing That was just before you touched me with those hot, rough, construction worker hands. I remember the Matchbox 20 cd playing in the background. You whispered the dirtiest things in my ear. Sometimes late at night, alone in the dark I can still hear them.

I had to go on the next day as if nothing had happened. I gladly took the grounding for being gone, it would never be any worse than what was already done. You left me not knowing exactly what was happening. It pisses me off that it's followed me this far. I will always stare down any Days Inn as though it were going to attack me. I will never be able to trust, never be able to let go, and never be able to give everything to anyone….

I will never be able to finish this letter because of how far reaching, deeply embedded, and intense it still is. There are always more links I find in this chain, and always will be more words to say.

dear dad
i wish you could spend more time with me and make up for the lost years. i know you'll want me when im older because of the money i'll be earning, you won't be getting a single penny! anyway you have your girlfriend Claire...im sure she will be willing to shine your bald head with pledge polish!

won't be your little girl forever,
Paulina (666gothchick)

My love,

I hate you, at least I did before
I dont feel it so much anymore
I felt it burning inside my chest as you walked out the door with her
but I dont hate you anymore
I ran into her yesterday
the girl that you picked when you walked away
dont worry I left her at your front door
neatly wrapped and tightly packed
with garbage bags galore

p.s this settles the score

To my father.
Dear father,
in the past and nearby present we've never seen quite eye to i, but now that you're coming back,i'm not going to lie, i have a few rules that must be follow. Now this is more than a threat,these are not a fucking guide lines, dis-obey and i will shoot you down and i swear i will not cry.
Speak to my mother and sister without insult, or keeping secrets behind their backs.(i hold the gun in this family and i swear i am trigger happy at that)
Leave the grandparents alone, (you do not have to get close to them, please do not even try to act...)
Do not even think about screwing with my girl friend (For all your quirks i MIGHT ignore this i WILL NOT take)
Dearest father i don't have high expectations for you, but to your dam behavior that you showed last time, this time you better not slip up or make any mistakes...
i now have a back bone stronger than last time you saw me and a new shiny, long knife to my name.
love daddy's little girl

Dear _,

I slipped this in the window of your car when you weren't looking. This restraining order really puts a barrier between us. I'll wait for you, though. The order only lasts for a year and I know where to find you. Thank you for still using the same laundromat; I now have a new pair of your underwear; the scent calms me. I pretend they are you.

I'm sorry I stuck a GPS device to your car, tapped your phone, and hacked your email. It's just that I love you so much I want to mesh with you completely. I can't stand not being with you for a second.

I hope you understand, but I'm not signing my name. I know you'll take this to the police. Thank you for leaving your bedroom window unlocked as well. Last night wasn't a dream...

Dear John,

I trust you are healthy and happy?

Just to let you know, that I am quite finished with Casandra, who is currently in the bath and will be dressed in 15 minutes. She is tired however, last night went on and on and on. So Im sure you will understand when I ask you to pick her up, I am not a fan of driving whilst tired.

Just a quick question, she is such a nag Im trying to work out, what made you marry the bitch in the first place?

Have a awsome weekend and blue skies to you.

Al

dear __
im sad i never got to know you. i heard you loved me dearly. what happend that day? why did you do it? i know, she hurt your heart. fucking slut, no disrespect, to you, in some way i love you. i wish you would have called my mom or david, you could have come up, just to chill, but insted you left us, left us all. you never knew how much you were needed. especially from someone you never really knew. ME. i needed a daddy, i needed a father, i wish you could fill this place. maybe this is selfish, i just wanted to let you know, many people loved you! even i. maybe i will see you in heaven one day, i promise to give you a hug. until then, ill just dream about you.

with so much love


RIP Danny R Jones<3

Dear father,
I wonder if you will ever know how much you damaged me. I cannot remember anything about you except for your hands and your feet. Well, the hands slapped and hit me and your feet kicked me and slammed my face.I can't remember if you ever touched me, much less held me. You called me a whore and condemn me to being one even before I started being one. I hope you are happy now.

Best regards
Me

The texts are dope.
but in accordance with acts of whom is reffered to-i only look up in the sky and ask God if those abusive acts will ever end!!

hey you,

i will always love you. save the psycho analysis.
swim thru the sea of doubt, climb over the monoliths
of insecurity and live your life.

yes, you. of course, it's you. ha.

me

p.s-you are not the centre of the universe by the way.
being a perennial victim was last vogue in biblical times.
well, nevermind. :]

I hope you're happy. I'm ok.

:S:

If you are reading this then it means that I am dead and that you have succeeded in making my life as miserable as your own has been. It means that I am cruel and bitter...that I am angry at the world and hate myself so much that I am in a perpetual state of denial about any negativity I unleash upon the masses.
I would just like to say thank you for ruining me so completely with your words alone…you have molded me in your image, contaminated my innocent mind with your guilt trip. But I don’t blame you though…after all, it’s second nature to you by now and you don’t even realize that you’re doing it. I caught your disease of hate, and now hate myself as much as you hate me. I am too weak to do anything about it though, and so I exist – a shell of what could have been. I am as dead within as the mummies of ancient Egypt…yet still I exist. The only time you remember my name is when you want someone to dump on, demoralize me and call it “love” – call it “bettering me”……
   So do us both the favor and end the hell that you were so gracious enough to put me in.
Sincerely Yours,
   Chels

You remember that night we were camping.... I remember it fondly even after two bottles of tequila five buttery nipples and the watermelon four loco we were drunk pretty bad you popped some xanax I hated the feeling of being drunk so I dove in the ocean...and when I did it I was sober, I was.when you walked up to me to talk to say sorry and I kissed you I knew what I was doing every minute of it that's why I remember and the next day when you have me a ride home so I wouldn't kill that bastard and we kissed again I fell in love even if you never I thought you did you seemed to and the way you still text me even though were not supposed to I know you feel I know you feel I know you do....

never written letter of a love that could never be,,,
http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/84862-the-letter-never-written/