Suicide Notes
Anonymous
No need to leave a note
But, I wanted to, because you don’t get to vote
It is my life, you’ve never cared before, and I see
So sit down, go about your business, and keep ignoring me
Living your life as though everything is fine
Not seeing what is right in front or who gets left behind
Criticizing, laughing, sure, it is just in fun
That must be why I got this freaken gun
Whether I use it or not, this note had to be written
As a goodbye to you, the suicide bug has bitten
Sorry that you didn’t feel that I was worth enough
While on this earth or that you gave up teaching me how to be tough
All I needed was a word or two to know that I was good
And then I might have believed it and done everything the way you said I should
But I didn’t, and I failed time after time
While you basked in the freaken life you told everyone rained sunshine
I’m not sure if people would be surprised or aghast
When they read my obituary, or if they knew I might not last
You would never understand why I would take this step
But it is one that I am choosing not to regret
But, I wanted to, because you don’t get to vote
It is my life, you’ve never cared before, and I see
So sit down, go about your business, and keep ignoring me
Living your life as though everything is fine
Not seeing what is right in front or who gets left behind
Criticizing, laughing, sure, it is just in fun
That must be why I got this freaken gun
Whether I use it or not, this note had to be written
As a goodbye to you, the suicide bug has bitten
Sorry that you didn’t feel that I was worth enough
While on this earth or that you gave up teaching me how to be tough
All I needed was a word or two to know that I was good
And then I might have believed it and done everything the way you said I should
But I didn’t, and I failed time after time
While you basked in the freaken life you told everyone rained sunshine
I’m not sure if people would be surprised or aghast
When they read my obituary, or if they knew I might not last
You would never understand why I would take this step
But it is one that I am choosing not to regret
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
rachelmae
Forum Posts: 59
Thought Provoker
2
Joined 16th Feb 2014Forum Posts: 59
This Is Goodbye
There's a darkness in my heart
deepened by all that I've been through
I've kept holding on this long
but I don't remember what I'm holding on to
So I guess, this is goodbye
last chance, last time
to tell you how I feel
soon I'll be silent, quiet, and still
just like they never expected
but made me feel like they wanted
I can't fight the reasoning
in my twisted way of thinking
it seems like the only way out
I just want to stop feeling pain
so I just won't feel a thing
I'm sorry if this hurts you even more
you should know I loved you before I fly...
this is goodbye
There's an emptiness within
nothing ever stays if that makes sense
I've tried running from the edge
but I don't recall why I ever left the ledge
So I guess, this is goodbye
last chance, last time
to tell you how I feel
soon I'll be silent, quiet, and still
just like they never expected
but made me feel like they wanted
I can't fight the reasoning
in my twisted way of thinking
it seems like the only way out
I just want to stop feeling pain
so I just won't feel a thing
I'm sorry if this hurts you even more
you should know I loved you before I fly...
this is goodbye
If you miss me too much I apologize
I never meant to hurt the ones who cared
but I felt like no one was there
even though I know that was a lie
you were right there by my side
but somehow I slipped away
out of sight, out of mind
Just remember the little things
maybe that will ease the ache..
I'm sorry but this is goodbye.
Goodbye...
There's a darkness in my heart
deepened by all that I've been through
I've kept holding on this long
but I don't remember what I'm holding on to
So I guess, this is goodbye
last chance, last time
to tell you how I feel
soon I'll be silent, quiet, and still
just like they never expected
but made me feel like they wanted
I can't fight the reasoning
in my twisted way of thinking
it seems like the only way out
I just want to stop feeling pain
so I just won't feel a thing
I'm sorry if this hurts you even more
you should know I loved you before I fly...
this is goodbye
There's an emptiness within
nothing ever stays if that makes sense
I've tried running from the edge
but I don't recall why I ever left the ledge
So I guess, this is goodbye
last chance, last time
to tell you how I feel
soon I'll be silent, quiet, and still
just like they never expected
but made me feel like they wanted
I can't fight the reasoning
in my twisted way of thinking
it seems like the only way out
I just want to stop feeling pain
so I just won't feel a thing
I'm sorry if this hurts you even more
you should know I loved you before I fly...
this is goodbye
If you miss me too much I apologize
I never meant to hurt the ones who cared
but I felt like no one was there
even though I know that was a lie
you were right there by my side
but somehow I slipped away
out of sight, out of mind
Just remember the little things
maybe that will ease the ache..
I'm sorry but this is goodbye.
Goodbye...
rachelmae
Forum Posts: 59
Thought Provoker
2
Joined 16th Feb 2014Forum Posts: 59
Dear anyone who cares,
im sorry im never good enough. i hate that i dont measure up. ive tried too hard and fought so long, but im just too weak to ever be strong. i dont want to hurt you anymore, you're better off without me here. there's no stopping me, i dont belong in this world. it's not your fault, i know you tried your best to change my mind. but this isn't just a thought i can forget, nor an idea i can erase from my head. i cant do this anymore. i cant fight it. im not the warrior you want me to be. im not the little angel girl you thought i was, but soon ill be as close as ill ever get to one. i know you loved me, i know you always told me that and i wish i could have believed it. but dont worry, all the pain will be gone soon. for me, and youll move on in a little while. just remember me when i used to smile.remember when i was happy, not as i am. remember how i used to laugh at the stupidest things and just be crazy because that was me. remember how i danced , badly, but how i danced when i was happy. how i wrote songs and loved to sing in my car. remember that me, not the one you found. remember how i never had a date, but had a good time anyway. remember how much i poured my heart into my music and acting. remember my first play. remember my first concert. remember how excited i was when i made concert choir. remember the good times, remember me happy. don't think about how i hardly ate, how i was bullied and never said a word about it. you never knew, but i cried myself to sleep every night for so long. so im sorry. sorry i have to say goodbye. sorry i made one too many mistakes. sorry im not here to comfort you. sorry i caused you so much pain. im sorry i could never tell you how much i hurt.i didnt want you to worry. i didnt want my burdens, my troubles, to become yours. i thought i could handle it alone, i thought i could fight it off. but i failed. im sorry, ive always been a failure. but remember that my favorite color was purple. remember that my second favorite color was light green. remember that my favorite artists were Demi Lovato and Francesca Battistelli. remember that my second family was chorus. remember how much Blowing Rock meant to me. remember how long i begged you to let me go on the Disney trip. remember that i sound alot like Alanis Morrisette when i sing. remember that my eyes were like blue crystal oceans. remember that i laugh like a fairy. remember it all. remember i loved to travel. remember i loved scuba diving, even though i was afraid of drowning. remember i always wanted to fly even though i was scared of heights. remember i almost went to an arts school in New York, but couldnt. remember my dream was to have my songs on the radio and be an actress. remember i loved to help people. my hair was red when i was a baby. i hated vegetables. except potatoes. i loved ice cream. i was addicted to chocolate and soda. pizza was my favorite food. i liked honey chicken. i never got the chance to prove the world wrong or make a difference. forgive me. i wasnt strong enough. im sorry i hid this from you. im sorry i chose this path. im sorry im not there holding your hand telling you everything's alright. because i cant anymore. it was never alright. i was made fun of since elementary school. i never met their standards. i was never pretty enough. i was hurt by the one person i trusted. verbally and emotionally abused. i had a best friend, that tried their best to save me, but i was too far gone. im sorry. i gave up on life. you lost me to the world and to my own mind. im sorry. so sorry. its my fault, its always my fault. if you're reading this im most likely not around to explain. i never was good at explaining, but i was a master at faking. faking a smile when tears were drowning my heart. i shouldve known better. i thought i was worthless. im sorry i hurt you. im sorry i wasnt strong enough to stop myself again. im sorry i was depressed. forgive me, forgive yourselves for not knowing. i never let you get close enough to see.i never dreamed that id commit suicide. it just happened. forgive me. but dont forget me. do you miss me? was i loved after all? if so, i wish i had known that sooner.i wish you had had a clue of the tortured heart i was masking all this time. maybe things could have ended differently.
With loving regret,
Your faded whisper in the wind
p.s. play Rascal Flatt's "Why" at my funeral. please.
im sorry im never good enough. i hate that i dont measure up. ive tried too hard and fought so long, but im just too weak to ever be strong. i dont want to hurt you anymore, you're better off without me here. there's no stopping me, i dont belong in this world. it's not your fault, i know you tried your best to change my mind. but this isn't just a thought i can forget, nor an idea i can erase from my head. i cant do this anymore. i cant fight it. im not the warrior you want me to be. im not the little angel girl you thought i was, but soon ill be as close as ill ever get to one. i know you loved me, i know you always told me that and i wish i could have believed it. but dont worry, all the pain will be gone soon. for me, and youll move on in a little while. just remember me when i used to smile.remember when i was happy, not as i am. remember how i used to laugh at the stupidest things and just be crazy because that was me. remember how i danced , badly, but how i danced when i was happy. how i wrote songs and loved to sing in my car. remember that me, not the one you found. remember how i never had a date, but had a good time anyway. remember how much i poured my heart into my music and acting. remember my first play. remember my first concert. remember how excited i was when i made concert choir. remember the good times, remember me happy. don't think about how i hardly ate, how i was bullied and never said a word about it. you never knew, but i cried myself to sleep every night for so long. so im sorry. sorry i have to say goodbye. sorry i made one too many mistakes. sorry im not here to comfort you. sorry i caused you so much pain. im sorry i could never tell you how much i hurt.i didnt want you to worry. i didnt want my burdens, my troubles, to become yours. i thought i could handle it alone, i thought i could fight it off. but i failed. im sorry, ive always been a failure. but remember that my favorite color was purple. remember that my second favorite color was light green. remember that my favorite artists were Demi Lovato and Francesca Battistelli. remember that my second family was chorus. remember how much Blowing Rock meant to me. remember how long i begged you to let me go on the Disney trip. remember that i sound alot like Alanis Morrisette when i sing. remember that my eyes were like blue crystal oceans. remember that i laugh like a fairy. remember it all. remember i loved to travel. remember i loved scuba diving, even though i was afraid of drowning. remember i always wanted to fly even though i was scared of heights. remember i almost went to an arts school in New York, but couldnt. remember my dream was to have my songs on the radio and be an actress. remember i loved to help people. my hair was red when i was a baby. i hated vegetables. except potatoes. i loved ice cream. i was addicted to chocolate and soda. pizza was my favorite food. i liked honey chicken. i never got the chance to prove the world wrong or make a difference. forgive me. i wasnt strong enough. im sorry i hid this from you. im sorry i chose this path. im sorry im not there holding your hand telling you everything's alright. because i cant anymore. it was never alright. i was made fun of since elementary school. i never met their standards. i was never pretty enough. i was hurt by the one person i trusted. verbally and emotionally abused. i had a best friend, that tried their best to save me, but i was too far gone. im sorry. i gave up on life. you lost me to the world and to my own mind. im sorry. so sorry. its my fault, its always my fault. if you're reading this im most likely not around to explain. i never was good at explaining, but i was a master at faking. faking a smile when tears were drowning my heart. i shouldve known better. i thought i was worthless. im sorry i hurt you. im sorry i wasnt strong enough to stop myself again. im sorry i was depressed. forgive me, forgive yourselves for not knowing. i never let you get close enough to see.i never dreamed that id commit suicide. it just happened. forgive me. but dont forget me. do you miss me? was i loved after all? if so, i wish i had known that sooner.i wish you had had a clue of the tortured heart i was masking all this time. maybe things could have ended differently.
With loving regret,
Your faded whisper in the wind
p.s. play Rascal Flatt's "Why" at my funeral. please.
HadesRising
Forum Posts: 1613
Tyrant of Words
34
Joined 8th June 2013Forum Posts: 1613
DULL THE PAIN: DEATH NOTE PART 1
If you're reading
This then you know
I am dying
Why won't I die?
Trying harder
Every night
Is still a fight
Edges sharper
Loneliness is
Setting itself
Deeper into
Troubled mind
The pills they are
My only friend
Embracing me
All of the time
To struggle through
My daily life
Seeing faces
Yours and mine
My bloodshot eyes
Accusing me
Damning me
Can't take much more
Handful of pills
And strong whiskey
Showing how to
Dull the pain
Please dull the pain
Turn out the light
Silence my cries
Turn out... the
light...
If you're reading
This then you know
I am dying
Why won't I die?
Trying harder
Every night
Is still a fight
Edges sharper
Loneliness is
Setting itself
Deeper into
Troubled mind
The pills they are
My only friend
Embracing me
All of the time
To struggle through
My daily life
Seeing faces
Yours and mine
My bloodshot eyes
Accusing me
Damning me
Can't take much more
Handful of pills
And strong whiskey
Showing how to
Dull the pain
Please dull the pain
Turn out the light
Silence my cries
Turn out... the
light...
HadesRising
Forum Posts: 1613
Tyrant of Words
34
Joined 8th June 2013Forum Posts: 1613
LET ME DIE: DEATH NOTE PART 2
Awaken to another goddamned day
An infinite shade of deepening grey
Fuck it, I'm sick of it!
Just let me die!
An extra dose of fucking pills
Gives me nothing but chills
Those dull aches deep in my bones
Of past mistakes I cannot atone
Just let me
DIE!
Maybe the answer is a gun
Let's go and have some fun
And paint the walls with my brain
From the this fantasy I must refrain
I'm just a sorry-ass coward
Too cheap to take rewards
In those dark shadows, I creep
Begging, pleading to go in my sleep
Who cares? Why are you still reading?
Looking for lost meaning?
Well, I must tell you, son
There is absofuckinglutely none
Fuck you
Let me die
Goddamn
Those faces
Staining eyes
Looking in
Small Windows
Locked up
Protection
From myself
Just let me
DIE!
Awaken to another goddamned day
An infinite shade of deepening grey
Fuck it, I'm sick of it!
Just let me die!
An extra dose of fucking pills
Gives me nothing but chills
Those dull aches deep in my bones
Of past mistakes I cannot atone
Just let me
DIE!
Maybe the answer is a gun
Let's go and have some fun
And paint the walls with my brain
From the this fantasy I must refrain
I'm just a sorry-ass coward
Too cheap to take rewards
In those dark shadows, I creep
Begging, pleading to go in my sleep
Who cares? Why are you still reading?
Looking for lost meaning?
Well, I must tell you, son
There is absofuckinglutely none
Fuck you
Let me die
Goddamn
Those faces
Staining eyes
Looking in
Small Windows
Locked up
Protection
From myself
Just let me
DIE!
snugglebuck
Forum Posts: 1873
Dangerous Mind
77
Joined 3rd Feb 2014Forum Posts: 1873
PLEASE
I can no longer
Take this world of disorder
I can longer remain
In a world of kayas insane
So if you have a care
When I'm finished hanging myself
Please put back my chair
I can no longer
Take this world of disorder
I can longer remain
In a world of kayas insane
So if you have a care
When I'm finished hanging myself
Please put back my chair
rachelmae
Forum Posts: 59
Thought Provoker
2
Joined 16th Feb 2014Forum Posts: 59
This is it.
this voice is my head is too loud.
I can't hear you calling my name anymore.
This is me.
the broken one that looks so 'perfect'.
the innocent one that feels so worthless.
This is goodbye.
the rope around my neck won't slip this time.
and if by some horrible mistake it does,
i've kept my blade sharp.
just in case.
This is it.
I am finally done.
they wanted it, I'm sure of that.
no one took the time to ask.
my mask was a little too convincing.
This is...
nothing.
everything.
the end.
don't cry for me.
I won't be around to dry your tears like i used to.
You'll have a happy, successful life.
I was insignificant, wasn't i?
speak now, or forever hold your peace.
speak now, or I'll forever be gone.
just as i thought, no one spoke.
Farewell, cruel world.
and this isn't just a note.
it's honesty.
this voice is my head is too loud.
I can't hear you calling my name anymore.
This is me.
the broken one that looks so 'perfect'.
the innocent one that feels so worthless.
This is goodbye.
the rope around my neck won't slip this time.
and if by some horrible mistake it does,
i've kept my blade sharp.
just in case.
This is it.
I am finally done.
they wanted it, I'm sure of that.
no one took the time to ask.
my mask was a little too convincing.
This is...
nothing.
everything.
the end.
don't cry for me.
I won't be around to dry your tears like i used to.
You'll have a happy, successful life.
I was insignificant, wasn't i?
speak now, or forever hold your peace.
speak now, or I'll forever be gone.
just as i thought, no one spoke.
Farewell, cruel world.
and this isn't just a note.
it's honesty.
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Blehrt
Joined 18th Nov 2013
Forum Posts: 8
Strange Creature
Forum Posts: 8
Don't blame yourself.
It was time.
Remember to feed the horses.
Grain packets are in the middle bucket.
'Bye.
It was time.
Remember to feed the horses.
Grain packets are in the middle bucket.
'Bye.
LadyLoss
Joined 2nd Mar 2012
Forum Posts: 37
Thought Provoker
Forum Posts: 37
In a room full of people,
I still feel alone.
Nobody cares enough,
To pick up the phone.
In a family of luxury,
I still struggle to get by,
Nothing's ever good enough,
So why should I even try?
'Living is just a waste of breath,
And dying is just a waste of death.'
I still feel alone.
Nobody cares enough,
To pick up the phone.
In a family of luxury,
I still struggle to get by,
Nothing's ever good enough,
So why should I even try?
'Living is just a waste of breath,
And dying is just a waste of death.'
Angel-Blood
Joined 30th Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 13
Lost Thinker
Forum Posts: 13
Death a secret... a love letter from hope….
Death is always in secretly with the wounds
on the heart, and soul that has led to the scars
upon my wrists. I could never forgive myself
for all this blood. I have shed over these past
seven years. Everyday passes me very slow like
the time on the clock has stopped working right
in its tracks. For just everytime I have done
it to myself it feels like I am just tearing out
my own soul from my body. Like every little pieces
of my soul has been shaded into more pain and
suffering. I could the blood dripping into bloody
blood bath just to spread out that was once was
water at on time or another. This blood wouldn't
be able be washed off or wash away from the innocent
blood that remains in total emptiness. Someday my
tears feel like acid rolling down my face. I seek
for help and answers, but there’s no solution to
my problem besides to end it end all. I know its
never the answer in this situation between to get
happiness and sorrow of so much pain. It always
suffering in silence that no one can or could see
or hear with their eyes or their hearts. I know I’m
dying inside, the only that keeping me alive right
now is this old love letter. Its reads....
May 11, 1962
Dear My Dearest love,
I hope you understand why I am away for the war.
So, you and I can have a better life together.
Hopefully, to start our own family to come home
to your guys loving faces. So, we could hear little
feet running through out the house that we have
built together by hand. To watch our kids to grow
through out going to school and to graduation. Just
for us to send them to college with a good paying
job. Then, we can grow old and gray to die in peace
together.
I just miss you so much I can't wait till I get
to come home to see you again. When I get home to
I am going to marry you and never leave your side.
I love you, so much are always in my prays, dreams,
and but most of all you always in my heart.
See you soon my love. We will be together again
real soon my love. You are my everything in this world.
Love your man,
CPT/ James; Robert
I keep reading that letter to keep my hopes
and my dreams alive. To wait until he comes
home that’s why there so much depression that
hits me so hard in the chest. Just waiting
and wondering when it will be? I don't know
the answer to that question until it happens.
Death is always in secretly with the wounds
on the heart, and soul that has led to the scars
upon my wrists. I could never forgive myself
for all this blood. I have shed over these past
seven years. Everyday passes me very slow like
the time on the clock has stopped working right
in its tracks. For just everytime I have done
it to myself it feels like I am just tearing out
my own soul from my body. Like every little pieces
of my soul has been shaded into more pain and
suffering. I could the blood dripping into bloody
blood bath just to spread out that was once was
water at on time or another. This blood wouldn't
be able be washed off or wash away from the innocent
blood that remains in total emptiness. Someday my
tears feel like acid rolling down my face. I seek
for help and answers, but there’s no solution to
my problem besides to end it end all. I know its
never the answer in this situation between to get
happiness and sorrow of so much pain. It always
suffering in silence that no one can or could see
or hear with their eyes or their hearts. I know I’m
dying inside, the only that keeping me alive right
now is this old love letter. Its reads....
May 11, 1962
Dear My Dearest love,
I hope you understand why I am away for the war.
So, you and I can have a better life together.
Hopefully, to start our own family to come home
to your guys loving faces. So, we could hear little
feet running through out the house that we have
built together by hand. To watch our kids to grow
through out going to school and to graduation. Just
for us to send them to college with a good paying
job. Then, we can grow old and gray to die in peace
together.
I just miss you so much I can't wait till I get
to come home to see you again. When I get home to
I am going to marry you and never leave your side.
I love you, so much are always in my prays, dreams,
and but most of all you always in my heart.
See you soon my love. We will be together again
real soon my love. You are my everything in this world.
Love your man,
CPT/ James; Robert
I keep reading that letter to keep my hopes
and my dreams alive. To wait until he comes
home that’s why there so much depression that
hits me so hard in the chest. Just waiting
and wondering when it will be? I don't know
the answer to that question until it happens.
Anonymous
There Is No Question
I wish it hadn't become so clear that it's time for me to go
I'd give anything to make everything different out there past my window in a world that has no place for me
I've found all the reasons to live and none of the means
I'm standing out as different while dissolving into nothingness
I am a question in a time that wants only answers
which renders me meaningless
I have only two goodbyes that mean something left in me
but there's no way to say them without making things worse
My tears have a shoulder to land on and a million reasons to dry up now which makes understanding the truth hurt
I thought I could and I can't
now I'm tying loose ends as I'm coming undone
carefully planning so I don't fuck this up
I don't wanna die but I can't live like this
I have a million wishes and a few regrets
but I only have one sorry left
and it's pointless to say it first
so I'm choosing my poison carefully
like premeditating a murder
considering time and dose
I feel insane and ready to rest
it's hard to believe it's come to this
sick of dying while trying to live is worse
than being sick of living and trying to die
but I"d rather walk away now than lose whats left
because I tried and failed to thrive
I wish it hadn't become so clear that it's time for me to go
I'd give anything to make everything different out there past my window in a world that has no place for me
I've found all the reasons to live and none of the means
I'm standing out as different while dissolving into nothingness
I am a question in a time that wants only answers
which renders me meaningless
I have only two goodbyes that mean something left in me
but there's no way to say them without making things worse
My tears have a shoulder to land on and a million reasons to dry up now which makes understanding the truth hurt
I thought I could and I can't
now I'm tying loose ends as I'm coming undone
carefully planning so I don't fuck this up
I don't wanna die but I can't live like this
I have a million wishes and a few regrets
but I only have one sorry left
and it's pointless to say it first
so I'm choosing my poison carefully
like premeditating a murder
considering time and dose
I feel insane and ready to rest
it's hard to believe it's come to this
sick of dying while trying to live is worse
than being sick of living and trying to die
but I"d rather walk away now than lose whats left
because I tried and failed to thrive
Anonymous
Suicide is Brainless
Dear Friends & Family,
I loved myself more than you,
that is why I am going to victimize you
through my cowardly,
selfish, wasteful, sad, and useless act
of self destruction.
Please make no mistake,
even under this cloud of "depression"
and hundreds of gloomy poems,
I loved myself more than you.
I hope to haunt you forever,
enjoy the pics the cops take.
I will probably shit myself
from the hanging, no big deal,
I can't smell it...I'm dead.
Another stupid suicide comp....enjoy kids!
Dear Friends & Family,
I loved myself more than you,
that is why I am going to victimize you
through my cowardly,
selfish, wasteful, sad, and useless act
of self destruction.
Please make no mistake,
even under this cloud of "depression"
and hundreds of gloomy poems,
I loved myself more than you.
I hope to haunt you forever,
enjoy the pics the cops take.
I will probably shit myself
from the hanging, no big deal,
I can't smell it...I'm dead.
Another stupid suicide comp....enjoy kids!
the_lone_knight
THE_SURVIVOR
Joined 23rd Apr 2014
Forum Posts: 8
THE_SURVIVOR
Strange Creature
Forum Posts: 8
my sucide note
well the time has come and ur reading this so u were to late to save me but anyway the deed is done and iv finally moved on to the after life but i leave u this one thing as a last word from me...
to those who it may concern iv kissed the hand of death and succeed in death and now im much happier idk how much longer most of my friends will last knowing im dead but i just hope they move on and forget all about me im done tryin to fighting all this temptation of the blade im kissing it this last time and its it so when u read this and who ever reads this i love u and im glad u tryed to save me in time but u failed...
well the time has come and ur reading this so u were to late to save me but anyway the deed is done and iv finally moved on to the after life but i leave u this one thing as a last word from me...
to those who it may concern iv kissed the hand of death and succeed in death and now im much happier idk how much longer most of my friends will last knowing im dead but i just hope they move on and forget all about me im done tryin to fighting all this temptation of the blade im kissing it this last time and its it so when u read this and who ever reads this i love u and im glad u tryed to save me in time but u failed...