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Suicide Notes

David_gessner
Thought Provoker
United States 1awards
Joined 8th Jan 2013
Forum Posts: 27

I made a decision maybe a week ago, I am going to die in the next 24.
I'm sorry ma, jimbo, abigail and grandma, but I cant do this, I more than hate my life though I love all of you with all my heart. I know this will hurt you, and I'm sorry, but think of the pain I cause you all with the way I have lived my life.
I've been an addict for ten years, and I have stole from all of you, flipped out on you and caused so many stupid bullshit things because Im a self destructive mess.
All of you were the bright points in my world without light of its own.
If possible, could you keep Abby from knowing I did this intentionally?
She deserves some innocence be left to her and if she thinks i od'd it might protect her from this life of chaos.
Please bury me in my normal stuff, I dont want to spend eternity in a suit, it just aint me.
Ma make sure Mariah knows that this wasnt because of us, sure it hurt, but its my inability to cope that caused me to end it, just tell her the same line as abby. Im sorry for not doing the same for you three.
Jimbo, my brother, my mentor, you were the only other man I ever bonded with the way I did with you. I'm a junkie bro, I hope youre not disgusted and that youll forgive me. I started bangin right after you went to the joint, me and taz. I didnt for years butnI started again in aug.
Ma, tell the guy that impregnated you that I deny him as my father, that my father died before I was born in my eyes. Better give him this.
Dave, I wrote you off as dead years ago,the one reason I tolerate you is the rare occasion I can get money from you and then go put it in my arm.
By the way, im glad your fucking mother went blind, after twenty three years claiming to live there to help her now you finally have to.
Your brother lloyd was a sick child molesting piece of shit and when I found out he had colon cancer, I LAUGHED AND CLAPPED MY HANDS like a child at the thought of him slowly dying a pain filled death.
He FUCKED HIS DAUGHTERS WHILE HIS WIFE FUCKED HIS SON AND YOU DID NOTHING, YOU TREATED THEM LIKE THEY WERE WRONG. I should go kill you befor I do me but a better punishment is to make you go on with your miserable life. Yea Im a dope freak, thats my issue, whats your excuse?
You never had a son Dave, my only regret about my plans are that I wont live to piss on your grave and enjoy the shit you bought yourself while me and ma were barely getting by all those years.
Oh and tell your mom what a piece she is, fourteen she treated me like a bun because I wor ripped jeans, at nineteen she wanted to hug me for the first time that I can remember, she aint never been shit to me dave.
Gow you are a fuckin weasel.
Oh yea the only reason I never beatyour ass like I did your brother is how scared you were, it would have been like beating up a scared teenage girl. So yea thats it you fucking worm.



Sorry Gessner fam, needed that....
Ma Its already done so.....turn on the news and go behind grogs house in the alley, youll see on the news where it came from...last minute change of plans. you four wont have to worry about anything again. I dunno what shape my bodies in, I couldnt die without taking lout as many cops as i could first.
I love you four, Ma the bottom is for riah.

Hey, I guess you probably know by now that im gone.
I went out how I wanted to, true to myself.
I was so fucked their wasnt any comin back from it baby.
I didnt do this because we broke up, I did it because I was ready.
I loved you deeper than I knew i could and it was only a pause in your life,
But it was the highlight of mine, tryimg with someone else would have been pointless.
Dont waste tears on me babe. I love you
Sincerly Elvis

becsta
Bec
Thought Provoker
Australia 9awards
Joined 4th Jan 2013
Forum Posts: 186

I can't reach any higher
My mind's wrapped in wire
This heart is a liar
These memories that stay
I just can't walk away
No salvation today
This dangerous game we play
My soul starts to decay
I can't live this way
Goodbye to everyone
I have come undone
This battle can't be won
How much more can i try?
Got no tears left to cry
Im always wondering why
We're not made to fly
I came here to die
World this is goodbye.

Angeliki
Angela Psyhopoulos
Fire of Insight
Australia 7awards
Joined 1st Mar 2013
Forum Posts: 100

Its all about you isn't it
How many revolutions do I have to undertake
to help your fucking future change
You left me all alone to chase
You didn't even ask if it is yours to take.
Why did you feel my only sacred dream
Its mine I don't want you to see.
You left me alone to fight the demons and took
everything sacred I had and sold it to eva.
I just  want to know will I have any support.
I'm going to end my life today
But i guess you will stealmy spirit and sell it for gold
When I die play this song "Black Keys"song "Little black submarine"" and don't forget to hide my soul
JUst bury my bones in a pyramid in Egypt
so I can do the MAth so I can Keep ya
I'll die without the sound of your voice
I will never see the sun shine and never speak words
I'm killing myself right now I swear I will
Don't tempt me now.
Even though Im in the know that these pills are good you know
I'll swallow one now and hope i bloom.
Before you believe me and kill me too.

Robert_Poe
Benjamin Derr
Lost Thinker
Joined 14th Mar 2013
Forum Posts: 6

I gazed in amazement, in this same day
As I witnessed something indescribable, by any poet
A single moment, so astonishing, so incredibly real
My heart, thumps furiously at my heaving chest
My heart
Has misplaced its breath
Exactly like
That feeling you get
When you place your face out the window of a moving vehicle
As you attempt to inhale
Choke
I gulp, I cry
With these dreary,dreamy,morose eyes, I watched
A single tree
Alarmingly more caring and romantic than the rest
Clinging, clenching, with the strength of a protective mother
To a frail, yet stunning, little yellow leaf
The last among its branches
So afraid to be alone
Cold and bare
Spring, summer, and autumn have crept by so swiftly
And ahead lies the winter
A season of death
When only chills grow

Angeliki
Angela Psyhopoulos
Fire of Insight
Australia 7awards
Joined 1st Mar 2013
Forum Posts: 100

Hay I really relate to the Tree watching. But somehow I think yours is special. I wish you good fortune.

Angeliki

poet Anonymous




SAYING GOODBYE


Diseases not amenable to twenty-first century care

Pollution a cause or perhaps a mutated virus

No energy for mental or physical stress

Life based on medications oh what a mess


Only reason to live is my love for him

Should anything happen then I go after

Living alone grim and bitter

Finally a rest that sounds better


Forgive me for doing what is prohibited

Forgive me for not being strong enough to live

Surely you must realize the way old women are treated

That we amount to nothing and have nothing to give.



poet Anonymous

"It's That Simple"
http://sampson-anointed-tech-resources.com/Poetry/poetry2-2ki3jh4.jpg
I came.
I saw.
I lived.
I wrote about it.
But, there’s too
much pain to bear,
gonna end it,
nobody really cares.
I’m heading west
beyond this universe.
Please remember me
in my written words,
I now leave them to you.
It’s that simple.

(In many Eastern Religions heading west is significant of leaving this mortal world.)

KrumblingCookie
Twisted Dreamer
United States 1awards
Joined 25th May 2013
Forum Posts: 109

I wanna feel better, but you won't let me.
You hang desperately on what's left of my faith, until I sink down to your level
I just wanted to feel apart of something, and be accepted, but I just stood out to much.
You raped and violated me over and over with your words, and today it stops

All I asked was why?
God why was I put on earth to be missused , the pain is unbearable
Damn a hug would have been nice, or an I love you, and I'll never llet anyone hurt you . Guess that's not going to happen . I just want to leave I'LL can't even think of the things I'll will never do.
What did I do , to be tossed and fumbled so hard never to be picked up.

Mom I love you, I wish I could have hugged you on last time. Maybe I'll see you soon
Dad your a fucking disgrace, I Hope your reborn over and. over so you would go through each of your lives feeling empty.

God I'm dying..... I'm dying .... I guess this is.......












iamlionelb
Lio Mandel
Strange Creature
United States
Joined 9th July 2013
Forum Posts: 3

Peter Pan by Lionel M. Bailey

I just jumped off of the building
You don't even know it
Only God knows where I'm going
You don't even know it
Falling fast the devil holds my hand
You don't even know it
Hope my feet land in the never land
But you don't  even know it
I'm so faded I can't see the end
You don't even know it
To Die young was not my plan
You don't even know it
Is there a peter pan in neverland

Sippin fast no brakes
You don't even know it
5 more shots no chaser
You don't even know it
Wise words from an old fool
Take note of your lessons
Your mistakes can make or break you
Release your fears with honest confessions
Cowards hide behind the brave
and the brave never survive
I was born inside a coffin
we were born to live and die
Sad story but I speak my heart
I live through my words in this fallen art
It go like this
I put a bullet in my heart
you don't even know it
Fell to defeat to my opponents
I'm a grown man no apology i own it
I ain't gotta loan my respect cus i show it
loyalty to few only real ones were chosen
the others get a handshake deuce no emotion
Floating
hopin
I can fix all that is broken
Keep my eyes open
can't miss the explosion
Heard a couple tales of place where they stay young
Up there in the clouds
above heaven is a kingdom
I just wanna meet Martin L and A Lincoln
Tell em how they changed the way the ignorant were thinking
Sit on top a star so the earth can see me twinkling
Watchin luther v A house is not a home Singing
Freestyle with Pimp C and Purple what we drinking…..
Watchin the world fall…With every blink

I was born with complications
Failure was my education
Love I chased until fell onto my face kissing the pavement
Turned to Liquid medication
Sent my heart on a vacation
Lookin for a new replacement
Buried my feelings under the basement
Getting wasted
Wirting on my pad
Like its my final statement
Oh PS i want all Roses in my fuckin flower arrangement
Me and the hatred got well acquainted
Im related to Croley and satan
Fell from heaven
but married an angel
tried to cope with the separation
Threw my pride ego and rules away
And now my soul is naked
All of the drama i created elevated my frustration
Ready to jump no hesitation
Where's my final destination
I looked over the map to neverland
with a thorough examination
Heard my friends tell me to jump
that was my final confirmation
Not ET but i felt separated like alienation
for your information
Ill be back quote that with exclamations marks
My cremation was a hallucination
Better hide
recarnation

Intricate_B
Fire of Insight
United States 3awards
Joined 7th Mar 2013
Forum Posts: 823

Pain and anguish
Bring me happiness,
For I am a truly unhappy soul...
Now that I finally felt
True happiness,
You'll find me
A truly dead man,
In an ungodly deep hole.  

caxton
Thought Provoker
United States 1awards
Joined 9th July 2013
Forum Posts: 158

i tried as hard as i could
i'm sorry i couldn't do better
tell mom it's not her fault.
i love you all so much.
bye

Kou_Indigo
Kara L. Pythiana-Ashton
Tyrant of Words
United States 68awards
Joined 15th Sep 2011
Forum Posts: 2775

The man I love, he and I have had quite the tempestuous time of it in life. And a while back, now a long time ago it feels like thank the gods, he nearly left me forever and I him. And during the unspeakably horrible time in which he was gone from my life I contemplated suicide and wrote the poem that I am now going to share. In the end, my love came back to me and saved me from the end that nearly befell me, and we have been madly in love and happier than ever, ever since. I showed him this poem one night, and he realized upon reading it just how much I love him, that I would have perished without him. But I keep this poem always, to remind me of how close I came to death by my own hand... and how only true love had the power to save me from that death. Love is a powerful thing... lack of it can destroy us sometimes, and having it can raise us up even from the brink of doom itself. This is the poem I wrote, during my very darkest hour...

- Forgive Me -

Forgive me.

My flowers are dead; my heart is going insane!
I fear I may follow them; I cannot bear my pain.

When I look in the mirror and try to remember,
Who that girl is that my sad eyes are looking at…
I want to take her in my arms and comfort her.
But, she is me yes she is just me, and so I can’t.
I remember in flashes things that were long ago,
Like fires in the night, which all light my way…
And I remember the winter, and the cold snow!
Where is my home and just how far did I stray?
I can’t find the path that my feet recall walking,
But I keep tracing the way as if it was still there.
I feel like I’m a ghost, and feel like I’m falling…
Then I know I am alive, and long for death fair.
Just to be at peace, to stop the pain inside of me,
To hear words of love spoken to me, not hatred!
I feel like I’m blind except I know I can so see…
Something sad, when alone I ever fall into bed.
I wanted it to be your hand that touched me so!
But you weren’t there and so I caressed myself.
How painful, is love, with a heart full of woe…
And how poor I feel, like I have lost all wealth.
Because I am alone, a little girl scared, shaking,
And no one is there to comfort me in the dark…
I am in Hell and so I am trembling and quaking.
Paying for man’s sins, which leave their mark!
Upon my heart, scarred by secrets and sorrows.
All I wanted was you to kiss me only one time,
Then kill me so we might spend all tomorrows:
Arm and arm in Paradise, a garden so sublime.
Is this the price of love; that all lovers do pay?
I would pay worse for you, and perish for you.
How can I find strength, to face this next day?
I cannot, for I am broken and all sad and blue.
Remember me, my love, in case I fade at last,
Like my dead flowers which I keep watering!
I pretend they’re alive; I’m trapped in the past.
Set me free, please, to be free of everything…
Except for you, for I love you and cannot live,
If I must live alone and perish in my agonies!
Was the gift of love such a hard thing to give?
I gave my love, and when I did I did so freely.
I love you still, so come for me before I die…
Take me home; take me back to a better age!
I didn’t remember the truth; how could I lie?
My memory was gone, and now my visage…
Is streaked with tears that I cry for what was.
Tell me you know and understand my heart!
Let me live again, with you, to hear the buzz,
Of laughter in your voice like when we met…
Before darkness tried to take me for its’ own!
I love you still, and I do not have any regret.

My flowers are dead; my heart is going insane!
I fear I may follow them; I cannot bear my pain.

Forgive me.

rachelmae
Thought Provoker
United States 2awards
Joined 16th Feb 2014
Forum Posts: 59

is there anything worth living for anymore? is it all a game that i cant win? well im tired of playing. I WANT OUT. Somebody save me from myself, because i cant fight anymore. i cant wait my turn to have a good day, because when it comes the bullies always steal it away. any "happy" moment becomes a regret because they make the bad days even stronger and more memorable. WORDS HURT!!! why cant they understand that? calling a girl fat is NEVER okay, because what might be funny to you causes that same girl to STARVE HERSELF. Telling a girl she's ugly, laughing behind her back at jokes, telling them just loud enough for her to her, is NOT ALRIGHT, because it causes that girl to HURT HERSELF. To want to DIE and GIVE UP ON LIFE. All because of your stupid, worthless jokes. that girl might be fragile. did you ever think that that sweet, quiet, girl was DYING on the inside because of you? ever wonder why there were tears in her eyes? ever think that maybe YOUR WORDS are the reason she's so quiet, so shy, so BREAKABLE AND BROKEN. NO YOU DIDNT!!!!!!! Because if you did she wouldnt be at her house, writing a SUICIDE NOTE, writing mulitple suicide notes, hurting herself and hiding everything from the people she loves, thinking that NO ONE  loves or cares about her. SCARING HER FRIENDS TO DEATH with a text that says she's sorry for not being able to fight anymore. Not answering her best friend's texts or calls for half an hour. SHE WAS ALMOST DEAD!! She stared at her deck wanting to jump. she held the razor praying to slit her wrists. she could've DIED all because of you. Think about that. Think about how much WORDS REALLY HURT. Before its too late, change your ways. Because next time... she wont be able to fight anymore.

poet Anonymous

I am sickened nigh to death of these suicide note competitions!
It's enough to make me wanna jump screaming in front of the next Good Humor ice cream truck.


poet Anonymous

No need to leave a note
But, I wanted to, because you don’t get to vote
It is my life, you’ve never cared before, and I see
So sit down, go about your business, and keep ignoring me

Living your life as though everything is fine
Not seeing what is right in front or who gets left behind
Criticizing, laughing, sure, it is just in fun
That must be why I got this freaken gun

Whether I use it or not, this note had to be written
As a goodbye to you, the suicide bug has bitten
Sorry that you didn’t feel that I was worth enough
While on this earth or that you gave up teaching me how to be tough

All I needed was a word or two to know that I was good
And then I might have believed it and done everything the way you said I should
But I didn’t, and I failed time after time
While you basked in the freaken life you told everyone rained sunshine

I’m not sure if people would be surprised or aghast
When they read my obituary, or if they knew I might not last
You would never understand why I would take this step
But it is one that I am choosing not to regret

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