saddest poem
Too many thoughts
and too little time to process.
I can hear her screaming in my head again
from the armchair of the security office
to the VB stained counters of King's Park tavern.
It's been three years to the day since
I held my fragile child in my timid arms
his struggled breath, quivering chest
bringing forth the deformities of heroin abuse
in the eyes of my dying child.
I found solace at the bottom of bottle after bottle
of wild turkey bourbon
I held a revolver to my head
loaded with the bullet she gave me
the same bullet I've carried for three fucking years
I heard the finality in her voice then and there..
'pull the trigger' her wickedness painted on her face.
Her vile smirk brought forward the repression
every thought that encompasses my life is poisoned by her image
and simply laying down sends me totally fucking insane.
I stopped drinking, I put my peace on the bedside and rolled a joint..
and too little time to process.
I can hear her screaming in my head again
from the armchair of the security office
to the VB stained counters of King's Park tavern.
It's been three years to the day since
I held my fragile child in my timid arms
his struggled breath, quivering chest
bringing forth the deformities of heroin abuse
in the eyes of my dying child.
I found solace at the bottom of bottle after bottle
of wild turkey bourbon
I held a revolver to my head
loaded with the bullet she gave me
the same bullet I've carried for three fucking years
I heard the finality in her voice then and there..
'pull the trigger' her wickedness painted on her face.
Her vile smirk brought forward the repression
every thought that encompasses my life is poisoned by her image
and simply laying down sends me totally fucking insane.
I stopped drinking, I put my peace on the bedside and rolled a joint..
'Waiting'
Waiting for the sky to fall,
for pygmies growing ten feet tall,
for throwing all my sins away,
I'll live to see another day.
Waiting for my days to end,
so rain and blood can descend.
Waiting for the day to see,
my enemy screaming endlessly.
I want to live to see the day,
Where there will be pain and hell to pay.
For I will be exempt from that,
Until my vision fades to black.
Waiting for the sky to fall,
for pygmies growing ten feet tall,
for throwing all my sins away,
I'll live to see another day.
Waiting for my days to end,
so rain and blood can descend.
Waiting for the day to see,
my enemy screaming endlessly.
I want to live to see the day,
Where there will be pain and hell to pay.
For I will be exempt from that,
Until my vision fades to black.
Today you left me on the bottom step of these dusty old stairs
You told me you'd left to find me some spares
For I am just a robot, rotting away
And how I wish you could stay
Three days ago you left me on these dusty old stairs
I think you told me you'd gone to find spares
I'm starting to creak at the joints now
I want to get up but I don't remember how
A month ago you left me on this dusty old step
I wonder if you're done yet with your trip
I can't move at all now as I'm rusted
My head is pointed at the window and my eyes are crusted
A year ago you left me in this quiet old house
Vines've grown over the window and it's not home to even a mouse
My eyes are half lidded and my jaw is slack
I'm still waiting, just waiting for you to come back
Five years ago you left me in this rotting old place
I try, but I can't remember your face
Five winters have taken their toll
My metal is warped beyond control
Twenty years ago you left me holed up in this god forsaken prison
It's been ages since I've seen the sun
Memories flash by every half second in my head
I wish, how I wish I was dead
A century ago you left me in this fallen old shed
The ceiling has long since crumbled overhead
I had forgotten that the sky was blue
Or how big trees became when they grew
Four hundred years ago you left me in this grassy open field
The paint on my body has long since peeled
It's not so bad out here with the flies and the flowers that've grown
I'm still waiting for you to come home
One thousand years ago you left me alone in this forest
Trees have grown over the field where I rest
I'm covered in dirt up to my rusted waist
I can't help but wonder if I've been replaced
It's been millenia since I was left under this dark, barren sky
And for the life of me I can't remember why
I think it's time my battery runs out
And I close my eyes as I finally power down.
You told me you'd left to find me some spares
For I am just a robot, rotting away
And how I wish you could stay
Three days ago you left me on these dusty old stairs
I think you told me you'd gone to find spares
I'm starting to creak at the joints now
I want to get up but I don't remember how
A month ago you left me on this dusty old step
I wonder if you're done yet with your trip
I can't move at all now as I'm rusted
My head is pointed at the window and my eyes are crusted
A year ago you left me in this quiet old house
Vines've grown over the window and it's not home to even a mouse
My eyes are half lidded and my jaw is slack
I'm still waiting, just waiting for you to come back
Five years ago you left me in this rotting old place
I try, but I can't remember your face
Five winters have taken their toll
My metal is warped beyond control
Twenty years ago you left me holed up in this god forsaken prison
It's been ages since I've seen the sun
Memories flash by every half second in my head
I wish, how I wish I was dead
A century ago you left me in this fallen old shed
The ceiling has long since crumbled overhead
I had forgotten that the sky was blue
Or how big trees became when they grew
Four hundred years ago you left me in this grassy open field
The paint on my body has long since peeled
It's not so bad out here with the flies and the flowers that've grown
I'm still waiting for you to come home
One thousand years ago you left me alone in this forest
Trees have grown over the field where I rest
I'm covered in dirt up to my rusted waist
I can't help but wonder if I've been replaced
It's been millenia since I was left under this dark, barren sky
And for the life of me I can't remember why
I think it's time my battery runs out
And I close my eyes as I finally power down.
This is kinda extreme read at your own risk.
Loneliness
I feel the loneliness seep into my veins,
why is nobody there?
I don't know
Why do they not care?
Don't know that either
Am I still sane?
Barely, Just barely
Then why am i talking to myself?
... Silence only follows....
There are people everywhere,
But where do I belong,
There is no place for me,
So they attack with words and hate,
That destroy me a little more each day,
My hope is gone as is my happiness,
There is only darkness and pain,
Time only seems to pass by,
Just like me in a crowd.... Most of the time,
The time has come I guess,
Death waits for me,
A rope hangs waiting,
I lift myself up on to the stool just below,
And pull the rope around my neck,
Then I kick the stool,
It all ends with a sicking snap,
Now I watch in a supernatural form as nobody notices,
My body slowly rots away, leaving peeling flesh and exposed bone,
And still nobody comes, I lived unwanted and Died unwanted,
I can't leave I am damned to watch my body rot away broken at the neck,
Broken at the heart and soul, With tears that never reach the ground but fade into air.
Loneliness
I feel the loneliness seep into my veins,
why is nobody there?
I don't know
Why do they not care?
Don't know that either
Am I still sane?
Barely, Just barely
Then why am i talking to myself?
... Silence only follows....
There are people everywhere,
But where do I belong,
There is no place for me,
So they attack with words and hate,
That destroy me a little more each day,
My hope is gone as is my happiness,
There is only darkness and pain,
Time only seems to pass by,
Just like me in a crowd.... Most of the time,
The time has come I guess,
Death waits for me,
A rope hangs waiting,
I lift myself up on to the stool just below,
And pull the rope around my neck,
Then I kick the stool,
It all ends with a sicking snap,
Now I watch in a supernatural form as nobody notices,
My body slowly rots away, leaving peeling flesh and exposed bone,
And still nobody comes, I lived unwanted and Died unwanted,
I can't leave I am damned to watch my body rot away broken at the neck,
Broken at the heart and soul, With tears that never reach the ground but fade into air.
If time is a healer when will it become easier?
I long for your presence I want you here with me
I sense you spirit but cannot see
The day that you left this world behind
A piece of my being died inside
Theres an empty hole left behind
Heartache and sorrow are entwined
In every action thought and feeling I have
A big part is missing since you passed
A vial piece is now missing at home
When I enter the house and im all alone
I do not feel the need to lay flowers to signify loss
Everyday your in my thoughts and never forgot
You suddenly passed and was taken away
Eternal peace for your soul I do pray
I hope you know how much I loved you
You are missed so much that much is so true.
I long for your presence I want you here with me
I sense you spirit but cannot see
The day that you left this world behind
A piece of my being died inside
Theres an empty hole left behind
Heartache and sorrow are entwined
In every action thought and feeling I have
A big part is missing since you passed
A vial piece is now missing at home
When I enter the house and im all alone
I do not feel the need to lay flowers to signify loss
Everyday your in my thoughts and never forgot
You suddenly passed and was taken away
Eternal peace for your soul I do pray
I hope you know how much I loved you
You are missed so much that much is so true.
My puppy just died
He committed dawgiside
His mother alienated him
His father tried to make him a jock
Pup olympics
He was a Corgi
Entered in the long jump
Doomed from the beginning
The Daddy dog barked at him
In front of the stands
You just were not born a winner
So when my puppy got back
He gave me this big sad eyed look
And hung himself from the towel rack
Left a note said:
Arf....arf arf
Then my cute furry little kitten had a heart attack
Found puppy's lifeless cold body....
Last words
Me ouch
He committed dawgiside
His mother alienated him
His father tried to make him a jock
Pup olympics
He was a Corgi
Entered in the long jump
Doomed from the beginning
The Daddy dog barked at him
In front of the stands
You just were not born a winner
So when my puppy got back
He gave me this big sad eyed look
And hung himself from the towel rack
Left a note said:
Arf....arf arf
Then my cute furry little kitten had a heart attack
Found puppy's lifeless cold body....
Last words
Me ouch
The Cruelty of Duality.....
I live love emote and relate
In maddening roller coaster phases
My mind of extremes.. emotional haze
Great swell induced rage and irrationnelles
Smack my true nature down like a bitch
Shackle me to hateful ugly paranoia
Leave thoughts racing at suicide pitch
I wear kaleidoscopic shades
Disturbing frame of reference
Disolve correct sight....
They (shades) flip flop what should be
Make black what is quite white
Make wrong what is quite right
Turn the joy shine of day
Into a terror darkness blanket of night
The blanket never quite covers cold feet that ache and need warmth
I run and run far and fast in mind...
No matter my pull and tug and fight
Wrestle a madmans grip for a night..
I have wrestled a lifetime
It is crazy making and ï am tired
Days no sleep causes blurr of sight
An insomniacs backwards
In desperate need of the vertical
Please God give balance and sit me upright.......
I live love emote and relate
In maddening roller coaster phases
My mind of extremes.. emotional haze
Great swell induced rage and irrationnelles
Smack my true nature down like a bitch
Shackle me to hateful ugly paranoia
Leave thoughts racing at suicide pitch
I wear kaleidoscopic shades
Disturbing frame of reference
Disolve correct sight....
They (shades) flip flop what should be
Make black what is quite white
Make wrong what is quite right
Turn the joy shine of day
Into a terror darkness blanket of night
The blanket never quite covers cold feet that ache and need warmth
I run and run far and fast in mind...
No matter my pull and tug and fight
Wrestle a madmans grip for a night..
I have wrestled a lifetime
It is crazy making and ï am tired
Days no sleep causes blurr of sight
An insomniacs backwards
In desperate need of the vertical
Please God give balance and sit me upright.......
alone
sobbing
silence
numb
your dissatisfaction
still ringing in my ears
will I ever stop questioning my worth?
how will this insecurity be remedied?
if you had only stuck to the insults
I could have tuned them out
it is the back and forth of love and hate
that really makes me doubt
my own worth
the minute details of my body
my reflection and mind never the same
yet you haven´t stopped the chase
you reel me in again
just to dish out more pain
why do you seek me if I am so worthless?
why waste your energy?
is it really me you love to hate?
where does all my hope stem from?
why can´t I just shut you out?
why am I so addicted?
is it me or you I doubt?
sobbing
silence
numb
your dissatisfaction
still ringing in my ears
will I ever stop questioning my worth?
how will this insecurity be remedied?
if you had only stuck to the insults
I could have tuned them out
it is the back and forth of love and hate
that really makes me doubt
my own worth
the minute details of my body
my reflection and mind never the same
yet you haven´t stopped the chase
you reel me in again
just to dish out more pain
why do you seek me if I am so worthless?
why waste your energy?
is it really me you love to hate?
where does all my hope stem from?
why can´t I just shut you out?
why am I so addicted?
is it me or you I doubt?
calamitygin said:My puppy just died
He committed dawgiside
His mother alienated him
His father tried to make him a jock
Pup olympics
He was a Corgi
Entered in the long jump
Doomed from the beginning
The Daddy dog barked at him
In front of the stands
You just were not born a winner
So when my puppy got back
He gave me this big sad eyed look
And hung himself from the towel rack
Left a note said:
Arf....arf arf
Then my cute furry little kitten had a heart attack
Found puppy's lifeless cold body....
Last words
Me ouch
Absolutely ridiculous! How did all this even come into your mind?! I know this is supposed to be a sad poem but jeeze you totally cured me today, I needed a laugh so bad! "Me ouch"! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I hope this wasn´t offensive it is meant to be appreciative!!
He committed dawgiside
His mother alienated him
His father tried to make him a jock
Pup olympics
He was a Corgi
Entered in the long jump
Doomed from the beginning
The Daddy dog barked at him
In front of the stands
You just were not born a winner
So when my puppy got back
He gave me this big sad eyed look
And hung himself from the towel rack
Left a note said:
Arf....arf arf
Then my cute furry little kitten had a heart attack
Found puppy's lifeless cold body....
Last words
Me ouch
Absolutely ridiculous! How did all this even come into your mind?! I know this is supposed to be a sad poem but jeeze you totally cured me today, I needed a laugh so bad! "Me ouch"! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I hope this wasn´t offensive it is meant to be appreciative!!
I’m sorry for your creation
your place in life is broken and I’m sorry
you can’t do anything for yourself and I’m sorry
how you sit and ponder at nothing
your life completely aided by doctors and nurses
all the tests I put you into
when I get annoyed and tell you how I didn’t want you
I’m sorry
you can’t help it
I created you
birthed you
put you into this tilted world
even if I didn’t mean to conceive you
I didn’t mean to put you here
your mutant mutiny
when you would mess up
spill your cup
how I would hit you
yell scream
such a mean theme
run for the bottle as an
escape key
using all of our money to escape the thought
of having to care for you
feeling as blue as your lips
I tried to support you
I’m sorry
your uncompleted development
represented as mistakes and errors circling
back to the definition of you
the looks and stared we would get
all of the “prayers” and “help” people offered
but you are tied to me as a rock sinking
I tried so hard for you
but you always had that smile
the one perfect composition during your development
the rest was a wreck
all the alcohol and drugs
I consumed while my life driven mistake
was being formed
the thought of abortion to end your suffering
but I will help you
wear this necklace. Thick puzzled itchy
stand on this chair. Wearing deaths scarf
I left you there
hanging
no more doctors or nurses only a grim reaper
the flipped chair under my life changing mistake
creating and reconstructing my best decision
no more mistakes
no more hitting you or locking you up
setting you free of everything
I’m sorry
your place in life is broken and I’m sorry
you can’t do anything for yourself and I’m sorry
how you sit and ponder at nothing
your life completely aided by doctors and nurses
all the tests I put you into
when I get annoyed and tell you how I didn’t want you
I’m sorry
you can’t help it
I created you
birthed you
put you into this tilted world
even if I didn’t mean to conceive you
I didn’t mean to put you here
your mutant mutiny
when you would mess up
spill your cup
how I would hit you
yell scream
such a mean theme
run for the bottle as an
escape key
using all of our money to escape the thought
of having to care for you
feeling as blue as your lips
I tried to support you
I’m sorry
your uncompleted development
represented as mistakes and errors circling
back to the definition of you
the looks and stared we would get
all of the “prayers” and “help” people offered
but you are tied to me as a rock sinking
I tried so hard for you
but you always had that smile
the one perfect composition during your development
the rest was a wreck
all the alcohol and drugs
I consumed while my life driven mistake
was being formed
the thought of abortion to end your suffering
but I will help you
wear this necklace. Thick puzzled itchy
stand on this chair. Wearing deaths scarf
I left you there
hanging
no more doctors or nurses only a grim reaper
the flipped chair under my life changing mistake
creating and reconstructing my best decision
no more mistakes
no more hitting you or locking you up
setting you free of everything
I’m sorry
